My nephew lived a double life and went into a lifestyle of drug abuse and other bad choices. The family had to make the painful decision to withdraw contact with him because of some of the abuses he had caused. However, we never stopped praying for him and caring about him. Last Christmas, after many years of waiting, we celebrated when he returned to Christ and to the family. He is a new person, and over a year later is so on fire for God.
My son went to college and began to explore ideas contrary to the way we’ve raised him. Many of his friends are atheist or belonging to the Mormon church. Learning how much to say and how to help him navigate what he believes has been challenging, but we’ve been encouraged by his willingness to talk with us even when he thinks we are going to disagree with his beliefs. After waiting to see where he would land in his theology for the past several years, his faith in Christ is stronger now than it was before this challenging journey.
Our “son” who is our daughter’s best friend and sometimes boyfriend believed he was a Christian, but as he spent time with us, he realized he didn’t really understand what being a Christian meant. We walked the thin line of knowing what to say to our daughter and to him. We were honest and shared the Gospel with him. We were pleased that he said he would not say he was following Christ just to make us okay with him dating our daughter. He would only say he was a Christian if he truly believed. He embarked on a journey of a few years of learning and trying to understand. The waiting and praying was so worth it as now he knows Jesus for real and seeks God’s will for his life.
Whether we’re praying for a prodigal or waiting for our children to open their hearts to God for the first time, this kind of waiting is some of the hardest we do as Christian parents. From the time our children are born, if we are followers of Christ, we want with all our hearts to see this child come to Christ and follow him with all their hearts. However, most of life seldom goes the way we want it to, and sometimes it goes the opposite way we had hoped. We can’t control our children’s choices. We can only guide and teach them. And then we wait.
One thing about God, he rarely has us wait without doing something, and he never has us wait alone. He’s like the father in the parable of the prodigal son. He’s waiting with hope, looking down that road for the prodigal to return. He’s ready, with his heart and arms open wide to embrace them when they do. So, what does he want us to be doing during this time?
Teach the truth:
While our children are young and open to the word of God, we need to teach them about our faith. We need to make sure they know the truth so they can return to it or embrace it when their hearts are ready. Some think we should let our children decide and not teach them about our faith. That goes completely against what Jesus told us to do, and it takes away the choices our children have. If they don’t know the truth, how can they believe it and embrace it? The Bible is very clear. We are to teach our children what we’ve learned, and for them to accept the Gospel, they must hear it. (Deuteronomy 6:5-9, Matthew 28:19-20; Romans 10:14)
Take them to church:
While our children are young, we need to take them to church. It is difficult at times, and sometimes we feel like we don’t even get to worship because we are dealing with our kids, but it is so very important that we do it. They need to see that it is a priority. They will learn to love people in the church, and they will hear the Word of God from others as well as from you. We told our children they had to attend church until they were 18, and my parents had the same rule. As a parent, we must use God’s wisdom in this area. For some of our children, we may need to give them that choice a little earlier but giving them the choice when they are too young to stay home alone or when they are just going through a bit of childhood rebellion doesn’t seem wise. In a younger child, we should investigate why the child does not want to attend church. Usually something else is going on rather than a spiritual crisis of belief. (Hebrews 10:24-25)
Table the talks and teaching at times:
If a child is closed to learning about our faith and refuses to talk, we must use wisdom in tabling the talks and teachings. We may push them further from God by insisting on pushing the Word of God on them. God will draw them to himself, and he will guide us in how and what to share if we are listening to the Holy Spirit. (Ecclesiastes 3:1,7)
Talk when they’re teachable:
By all means, take the time to talk when they are teachable. As our children grow in their understanding of salvation, they will have questions. We need to answer their questions and help them understand the Gospel. If a prodigal child wants to discuss their thoughts and concerns or even pick on what we believe, we must stop and connect with them. Let the conversation go where it needs to go without judgment or forcing but keep the communication open for next time. If God is working on their hearts, they will have questions, struggles, and even possibly be feeling miserable and maybe angry in their fight against God’s work in their lives. Sometimes that anger will be directed at us, and we must be ready and mature enough to handle it without getting angry in return. We must pray for God’s wisdom, grace, and patience. (Deuteronomy 6:7; Proverbs 22:6)
Take it to God:
Of course, we all know we need to be patient and pray, but we don’t already realize how very powerful those prayers are, not only for our children, but also for us. Our hearts are breaking and in pain as we see our children struggle and rebel. We need God’s peace, comfort, and help. We need God’s knowledge to understand where we have contributed to our child’s rebellion. We can seek God in these matters, humbling ourselves before God, and praying for his intervention in our family. (Philippians 4:6-7)
Tell your team:
Have others interceding for your children and for you as a parent. We need each other. Our children are on their own journey with Christ, and we cannot make that journey or decision for them. But we can share our hearts with our trusted friends who will join us in praying for our children. We can find strength and comfort from each other. And we can rejoice together when our children embrace the Gospel. (Galatians 6:2)
Tell the truth:
If we’ve messed up or maybe we haven’t been Christians very long, we need to be honest with our children. If we are just starting to attend church, talk to them and tell them why this is important. If we’ve made mistakes, maybe being too harsh with our children or expecting too much from them building a works mentality or causing them to misunderstand the heart of God, we must repent and tell the truth. We need to share our hearts with our children and begin parenting from the heart of God rather than our own agenda. (Ephesians 4:15)
Trust God:
He is working in your children’s hearts. He is drawing them to himself. Even when we’ve parented badly, God can overcome our mistakes. I have friends who are walking through this waiting time, and their faith and trust in God is a testimony to all of us of God’s grace and mercy. They are ready to celebrate when the situation changes, but until then, they trust God and love their kids. We find peace in knowing that when our children do finally come to Christ, it is a real decision they have made on their own and not one of doing what they think we want them to do. They have their own faith in Christ, not relying on our faith to make them “Christian.” Even in our children decide to follow Christ when they are young, we need to watch for them to make their faith their own. They need to know they have their own relationship with Christ, not just following expectations we have. It’s vital to them truly becoming followers of Christ. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
I’m sure there are many other nuances of waiting on our children’s hearts to seek Christ, but these are some basic principles. If you have a testimony, we would love to hear it. Feel free to share in the comments. Or if you want us to pray along with you, you can share in the comments or in our Facebook group and chat (Everyday Discipleship Every Day). If you have found a scripture that encourages you in this season of waiting, we would love for you to share that as well. We need each other. Let’s help lift each other up.
Waiting for our children to embrace faith is one of the most challenging journeys we face as Christian parents. It requires patience, wisdom, and unwavering trust in God’s timing. Remember that God loves your children even more than you do, and His desire to have a relationship with them is greater than yours. As we wait, we can find comfort in knowing that the Holy Spirit is always at work, even when we can’t see the evidence.
The story of the prodigal son reminds us that sometimes our children need to walk their own path before finding their way home. And when they do return—whether to faith they once knew or to faith for the first time—God celebrates, and so can we. Until then, keep praying, keep loving unconditionally, and keep the door open. Your faithful waiting is not in vain; it’s a powerful testimony of God’s enduring love that your children will remember when their hearts are ready to receive it.
Common Concerns When Waiting for Children to Embrace Faith
Q: What if my child says they don’t believe in God anymore? A: This can be heartbreaking to hear, but remember that questioning is often part of developing a genuine faith. Listen without judgment, ask thoughtful questions, and share your own journey, including any doubts you’ve faced. Maintain open communication while continuing to pray. James 1:5 tells us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
Q: How do I balance respecting my child’s journey while still guiding them toward faith? A: This balance is delicate. Continue to model authentic faith in your own life, invite (but don’t force) participation in faith activities, and create natural opportunities for spiritual conversations. Look for God’s guidance on when to speak and when to be silent. Colossians 4:6 advises, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”
Q: I feel like I’ve failed as a Christian parent. Is it too late? A: It’s never too late with God. If you feel you’ve made mistakes, confess them to God and, when appropriate, to your children. Then move forward with grace. Your humility and authentic faith now can have a powerful impact. Joel 2:25 reminds us that God “will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten.”
Q: My child was raised in church but is making destructive choices. How do I respond? A: Continue to love unconditionally while setting healthy boundaries. Make your home a safe place for them to return to when they’re ready. Prayer is your most powerful tool during this time. The father in the prodigal son parable (Luke 15) didn’t chase after his son or enable his behavior, but he watched, waited, and welcomed him home with celebration when he returned.
Q: How do I handle the pain and worry while waiting? A: Be honest with God about your feelings. Connect with other parents for support and prayer. Focus on your own relationship with God, finding peace in His presence. Isaiah 26:3 promises, “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”