Family Discipleship

Scripture Memory That Sticks, Part 3: Dealing with the Difficulties

August 7, 2025

This is our third installment on Scripture Memory that Sticks. This week we’re going to look at some of the struggles and challenges that face us and our children as we try to build Scripture memory as a habit in our Christian walk. If you missed the last two weeks, we discussed how to memorize Scripture and how to help our children in age-appropriate ways to enjoy Scripture memory. We also shared step-by-step ideas for getting started. I hope you’ve found it helpful and have taken the time to check out our Summer Bible Memory Challenge. Even though summer is almost over, you can jump in now and enjoy the extras that are free to download.

Scripture memory takes determination, and sometimes a child may be determined not to cooperate with the plan. Let’s dig into what may be behind some of these objections.

“My child resists memory work”

Most of the time, children are not resistant to memory work. Most children seem to enjoy it. I find we resist more than they do sometimes. However, when we get the sigh when we mention Scripture memory, or worse, the eye roll, we know something is up. We need to revive the phrase from the 80’s – maybe some still use it – but it’s time for an attitude check. However, that doesn’t mean we shame our children (or ourselves) for our attitudes. We need to discover why it is there.

We may be starting too big, making it feel like school and another assignment with homework

Or we may be starting too small, and our child needs to feel challenged because they are bored

We must pray, asking for wisdom and discernment. Talk to our children to see what is at the heart of their resisting. And then we can make a plan for success by choosing shorter verses and naturally integrating them into daily life or choosing longer sections of Scripture with more study and research into the history, geography, and culture behind the verses depending on what your child needs. Maybe they just want to have more input into what the family is memorizing, or maybe they are too hard on themselves and need encouragement.

We also need to check our attitudes. Are we feeling overwhelmed or like a failure in our Scripture memory? Do we feel defeated before we even begin? Our children will pick up on that negativity, and they will lose their enthusiasm too. Go back to your “why” (see part 2), and ask God to help you enjoy memorizing Scripture and to thirst for it.

Finally, if you are dealing with a tween or teen, and they have questions about the verses or another passage they’ve been reading, we need to answer those questions. Their resistance may be due to unanswered questions plaguing them each time they think of memorizing verses. If you need help, talk to your pastor or check online for answers. I recommend Mike Winger or Wise Disciple to see if they have addressed the question. You can find both on YouTube.

“We keep forgetting to practice”

I hate to say it, but this one is probably on us. Building habits is difficult, and developing the discipline for it in a family schedule can be challenging. Consistency in all things is one of the major hurdles most parents must face. I’ve known a few people who are so disciplined before they have children, they do great with discipline and weekly plans, but most of us struggle. Acknowledging we have a problem is the first step. 🙂 We can do this with God’s help. In our weakness, he is strong. Lean on him, set alarms, make a plan, and do it with the joy and strength of the Lord.

Get creative: work on your verses during car rides, chore time, bath time, or while playing basketball or other game.

Plan when you will review each day as a family, set an alarm on your phone if necessary, and follow through. You’ll feel so great that you did.

“It feels forced and artificial”

Fun and creativity help with this one. Plus, genuine love for God’s word will make a huge difference. However, we may need to acknowledge that even though we love God’s Word, our children may not be there yet. If that is the case:

We can wait for teachable moments when the verse fits naturally into the conversation without being preachy or bonking our children on the head with it. For instance, if you memorized one verse in a section of Scripture, but the whole chapter talks about what is on your child’s heart, maybe reading the chapter together would open their eyes to how the verse they’ve been memorizing is relevant to their life, and they may take ownership of memorizing it and other verses from that chapter.

Another way to make memorization feel less forced is to share your love for God’s Word. Sing it, read it, and let your children see that it is such an important part of your life. Share why you love God’s Word. Then, challenge them that one day they will also learn to love God’s Word and see how important it is. Ask them what they love about God’s Word.

“We have different children with different ages and learning styles in one family”

We touched on this one over the past two weeks. Check out some of the practical suggestions in those posts, and embrace it. Enjoy the differences and let each child shine in their abilities.

Accommodating everyone does not need to be chaotic, but it helps if we plan and are intentional in how we practice memorizing Scripture.

As we mentioned before, involve older siblings in teaching and working with younger siblings. A wide age range is a blessing and can build family unity and encouragement.

“I have a rebellious child who rejects our faith”

This one is probably the most challenging, and it is not to be taken lightly. If your child is young, keep requiring them to go to church while trying to find out where the rebellion stems from. Younger children who are so fiercely against faith usually are acting out because something has happened to sour the milk of faith. Check for bullying, abuse, or misunderstanding of the Gospel. Who are the influencers in your childn’s life and have they said something about your faith?

If the child is a teen or young adult, they may get to choose to opt out of memorizing Scripture, but they do not get to be disrespectful toward what the rest of the family is doing. We can respect their wishes and struggle they are going through, and they can respect our faith and what we are teaching the other children. Even while excusing them from the activity, we can keep those conversations going and try to learn what has turned them against the Word of God.

The best way we can deal with this is to pray, be respectful, and keep the conversations open.

Some General Reminders When Dealing with the Scripture Memory Hesitant

Remember: It’s about heart, not performance!

Many resist Scripture memory because they’ve experienced it as pressure, perfection, or performance. We may remember those feelings of being put on the spot as children in Sunday School wanting the coveted golden star on the chart each week, stumbling over words in front of others and feeling like a bad Christian because we couldn’t quite recite it perfectly. We need to take a deep breath and remember we aren’t there anymore, and we aren’t creating that situation for our children. God’s heart for us in his Word is so much more wonderful and gentler than that.

Shift the Focus:

Instead of “getting it right,” think about “getting it in your heart.” The goal isn’t flawless recitation – it’s letting God’s truth sink deep into your soul where it can comfort, guide, and transform you from the inside out.

Permission to Be Imperfect:

It’s okay to paraphrase rather than quote word-for-word as long as the meaning is true to the text. We can help our children remember the main idea even if they can’t recall the exact wording, and because they have a handle on the main idea, when they need the verse, they know where to find it. They can always read it for the exact wording.

Heart-Centered Approaches:

Meditative Memory: Instead of rapid-fire repetition, try slowly reading a verse multiple times, pausing to think about each phrase. What is God saying to your heart today?

Personal Connection: Choose verses that speak directly to your current season. Going through a hard time? Let Psalm 34:18 (“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted”) become your companion rather than forcing yourself to memorize something that feels irrelevant.

Grace-Based Practice: Remember that even imperfect memory work honors God. If you can only remember “God works all things together for good” instead of the full Romans 8:28, that’s beautiful! The Holy Spirit can bring that truth to mind when you need it most.

For Families with Resistant Members:

Lead by Example: If your spouse or teens are hesitant, don’t pressure them. Let them see you naturally turning to scripture in daily moments. When you’re stressed, quietly quote your memory verse. When something good happens, share how a verse you’ve been learning speaks to the moment.

Make it Optional but Available: “Hey, I’m working on memorizing this verse about peace. Want to hear it?” instead of “We’re all going to memorize this verse together.”

Focus on Application: “This verse helped me today when…” rather than “Did you practice your memory verse?”

Redefining Success:

Success isn’t perfect recitation at the church talent show. Success is:

A phrase from Philippians 4:6 popping into your mind during a anxious moment
Your child humming a verse-song they learned weeks ago
Feeling comforted by half-remembered words from Psalm 23 during a difficult time
Having God’s truth readily available in your heart when life gets hard

The Beautiful Truth:

God isn’t grading your memory work. He’s not standing with a red pen, marking off points for missed words. He’s a loving Father who delights when His children treasure His words in their hearts – even imperfectly, even hesitantly, even when we get the words a little wrong but the heart completely right.

Remember: the goal of scripture memory isn’t to impress others or even to impress God. It’s to let His voice become so familiar that you recognize it instantly in the noise of daily life. It’s to have His promises so close to your heart that they can whisper hope in your darkest moments.

Start small. Start messy. Start with grace. The heart matters infinitely more than the performance.

But he said, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!” (Luke 11:28, ESV)