We probably all have a picture of what "real" family devotions look like. Everyone sits at the table with Bibles open. A child sweetly read a passage aloud, and everyone discusses it.
But reality may be more like a child having trouble decoding the word, one child under the table before we finish reading the third verse, and another staring at the ceiling. And we feel like we've failed somehow or we might become harsh and demanding with our kids. They can sense our disappointment and disapproval. Devotions become another thing they just can't get right.
Can I make this clear? The first picture isn't biblical. It's cultural. The second picture isn't biblical either. It's our reality. What's biblical?
How can a young man keep his way pure?
By guarding it according to your word.
With my whole heart I seek you;
let me not wander from your commandments!
I have stored up your word in my heart,
that I might not sin against you.
Blessed are you, O Lord;
teach me your statutes!
With my lips I declare
all the rules of your mouth.
In the way of your testimonies I delight
as much as in all riches.
I will meditate on your precepts
and fix my eyes on your ways.
I will delight in your statutes;
I will not forget your word.
(Psalm 119:9-16, ESV)
Notice what is in these verses: walking according to God's Word, seeking God, knowing God's Word, worship, joy. Notice what isn't in these beautiful verses? Sitting still, staying serious, looking pious, or any details of how we must learn God's Word. The fruit is seen in how we live out God's Word and love God's Word, not how well we sit through the time of learning. We have freedom in that.
I struggled for years. As the pastor's wife, I sat toward the front of the sanctuary with my four little kids. My oldest knelt by the pew so she could use the pew as a desk for drawing during the entire service. My older son never stood up or sang a song. Noises bothered him, so he just got through the noisy part the best he could. My youngest loved numbers and begged me to write numbers all over the bulletin so he could count them while his dad preached the message. My social butterfly younger daughter just wanted to sit with her friends. Family Bible reading and worship services were not quiet, calm, or still in our family - ever. I seldom got to focus on the music, which I loved, because I had a kid always tugging at my sleeve to ask or say something. Some weeks I got to help lead the music, and I loved those weeks because I got to focus on the words of the songs.
The wild part in all of this is that they heard the message. The learned the Word of God. And, eventually, they embraced it as their own.
What God asked for
Deuteronomy 6 is the passage behind most family discipleship teaching, and it doesn't mention sitting still.
"These words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise" (Deuteronomy 6:6–7).
Sitting is one of four settings. The other three are walking, lying down, and getting up. God built movement into the instruction from the start. The goal is words on the heart, not a child in a chair. (Can I get an AMEN!)
For the child who struggles to read it
Dyslexia, processing differences, and vision issues don't push a child further from God's Word. They just change the process.
Let them hear it. Audio Bibles, dramatized readings, Scripture songs. Hearing was how most of God's people received His Word for most of history.
Never make reading aloud the test. Asking a struggling reader to read in front of siblings turns Scripture into a stress-inducing performance. Read it to them, or let them follow along.
Use pictures and story. A good storybook Bible is not "less" Bible for a child who learns visually. Go back to the actual text as they're ready. (One caution: Get a reliable storybook Bible. Not all storybook Bibles are alike. I did an episode about the ones I endorse here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4iV3LL0I76qUDFRLcrLvYx?si=zAc9L2nIQjOzb3ZrQfWAqg
One verse, many ways. Write it, draw it, sing it, act it. We can say with the Psalmist, "I have stored up your word in my heart" as we do these things with our family.
For the child who can't sit still
ADHD, sensory needs, and anxiety all show up in the body. Fighting the body wastes time and energy.
Give their hands something to do. Play-doh, coloring, a fidget, Legos. Many kids listen better when their hands are busy.
Walk and talk. Take the verse on a walk, literally, the way Deuteronomy describes.
Shorten it. Three focused minutes beat twenty miserable ones. Stop while it's still good.
Use bedtime and car time. Lying down and on the road are two of the four settings. They're also when many kids finally open up.
Let them move and answer. Jump when you hear a name. Stand up when Jesus speaks. Movement becomes participation. (This was one of my favorites as a kid)
The one thing both children need
Whatever the struggle, the child needs to know they are not a disappointment to God because devotions are hard for them. We must tell them and teach them: "God made your brain. He knows how you learn best. He wants you to know Him, and we'll figure out the way together."
Whatever the way your family learns, watch how much God uses His Word in your lives and how much your children grow to love God's Word when it is more accessible with the way their brains and bodies work. They can worship with joy and look forward to these little moments together.
Want ideas you can use tonight? The Whole Family freebie bundle includes table talk prompts. You can find it in the header of my website: terriehellardbrown.com